Just a few random thoughts.

I am a person of several faces as I have been told plenty of times. Sometimes when you look at me you just see kind of a plain person. If you really are inside my world you will see a person who has tattoo's 13 to be exact, a person who has a few piercings. That is just on the outside. People make jokes because I have a superman tat in a place that is very well seen most of the time. I am asked, " Does that just pertain to superman?" I answer, No it doesn't it stands for the strength that I have in the colors of my country. My tat has the American Flag in it. I am prior military and very proud. Some others might just say that it stands for the strength that I  have and the person that shows that strength. It started when I found out i was adopted at age 8, my mother died when I was 5 months old. I visit her regularly when the weather here in New York permits. Through being in an abusive marriage, after 12 years of finding the strength to walk away. Learning that my kids and I deserved way more than that. Moving back to New York and my son choosing to stay with his father. I had my daughter up here. At age 16 she gave me my first grandson, at age 18 she gave me another grandson. Alot of people might turn their backs on their children I know people that have done it. But, my role was to be her parent and help her. I did my best to raise her. Taught her right from wrong. She took a bad road and has been away(that is the only way I can put it) for almost two year now. It has taken its toll on me emotionally, mentally and physically. But, I get up every morning and try to face the dawn with a smile, sometimes it works sometimes it does not. I however, do smile through the pain cause I have two beautiful little boys who call me Nana, that depend on me to take care of them. The last few years have been court battles one after another. I went from really having nothing two years ago, to having a house and my beautiful grandbabies to brighten it everyday. I have had a few real friends stick it out and stay by my side but not many. The friends I have met through school some of them I pull strength from and lean on when I feel as if I just cant go on no more. But, I know God only gives you what you can handle. I have questioned this cause I feel weak at times. I am definetely strong and know I will make this work and get through it. I am blessed.
Like I said this is random and unorganized but this is what blogging can be. For me today this is what it is about. I thank you for taking the time to read it.